one might say we're banned from that church
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
