He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
