It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
