I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
