i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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