I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
