I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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