Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
