well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
