dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
