had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
