ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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