Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
