Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
