OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
