I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
nutella sex= disaster
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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