I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i will never coherently bang her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
