I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize