PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
