So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
