STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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