Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize