I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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