hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
