You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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