just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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