There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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