Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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