worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
