whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
