all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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