I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
