I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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