so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
