is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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