Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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