a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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