Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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