I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
