Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
