I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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