Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
