Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
