I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
