next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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