you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
