Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize