your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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