There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
