You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
