And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
