I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
