Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
