i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
