Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
