I just made out with a guy for $7.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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