The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize