I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
