I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
