Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm at about main and main street
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
