So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
