white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
