I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Your dad touched me again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My vagina is officially offended.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
