i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
