So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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