I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
