is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
