Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
