just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I didn't notice because vodka
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
