Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize