anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
