i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
