His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
