I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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