You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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