im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
