dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm getting married
To pizza
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
