# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
