whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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