found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
