do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
