you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
